Today I had the exam in English...All was great except for the fact that I misunderstood one word... One small but important word... Instead of "consensus" I used the word "consciousness"... I couldn't figure out the word when the teacher dictated, and after I had finished the rest of the exam, I just sat there and for about 30 minutes I tried to figure out what word she had said... In the end, I couldn't. So I used the word I thought she had said... And I was terribly wrong.
Anyway, this will probably cost me the 10 I was hoping for in English. I still think I deserve it. I still think I'm among the best in English, at least in my series. And this bugs me a lot. I couldn't do anything today, and I have a very difficult exam on Thursday for which I have to read almost 210-fucking-pages. It's not a lot, but this stupid mistake I made in English brought me down... I feel just as bad as I felt last summer when I got that fucking 9.50 in the Romanian oral exam. My opinion is that one stupid word does not reflect your real value. And yes, this world is full of injustice. And I have to ask: is there anything we can do? No, we just have to accept the facts as they are. And try not to let them get to you. Because I've realized that these things are not necessarily very important. They don't prove anything, at least not to me. I have to reach to a consensus between “me, myself and I”. Even though I feel bad, I know my real value, I know what I'm capable of, and I mustn’t doubt myself anymore from now on.